30s are the new 50s

I very recently found out that Xanga is no longer a thing. It hasn’t been a thing for at least a decade. That’s how long it has been since I last journaled in a public way. I also very recently discovered that journaling is now called blogging, and lots of people do it. Foodies and mommies, adventure travelers and van dwellers, and the fashionistas with endless good ideas for petite fashion-challenged people like me.

Around the time of Xanga’s demise, I fell into a rabbit hole of work, and the pursuit of an ever-moving target of achievement. When I dove in, I was in my early 20s, naive, full of faith and confidence, accustomed to success. When I came up finally for breath, I was in my mid 30s, lost and faithless, mute and utterly unconvinced that the goals I had been driving toward for most of my life were worth pursuing. Along that journey, I had also stopped writing. There wasn’t anything to say, and no point leaving a record.

But in the end, the Shadow is only a small and passing thing, as Samwise Gamgee says, and not all those that wander are lost. These last few years have been healing. I am gainfully employed, and work is once again fulfilling. I am besottedly in love. We travel often and eat well. We bemoan the current state of American politics, but wake up each morning with hope for a good life. We laugh big belly laughs with our friends, and are daily grateful for our family.

It turns out, that if you are in your mid 30s, and missed the memo for most of your 20s, you can land in an awkward decade. We are two old souls who don’t suffer fools or bad wine, eat promptly at 6pm, and dream of retiring to an RV life. We don’t like noise, and our bowels can’t handle too much grease. Children are lovely in small doses; grandparenting sounds wonderful, if only it didn’t take parenting to get there. We love adventure, but only within reason. Road cycling is in, bungee jumping is out. I’m trying to do everything I didn’t get to do in my 20s, except with a bit more risk aversion and a lot more funds. The 30s are the new 50s, and this decade of my life is shaping up to be the best yet.

I’m trying to live the retirement life without actually retiring, and not entirely sure where this blog will go. I think it will start with travel. First stop: New Zealand. Won and I married on March 31, 2017. We delayed our honeymoon for a year, so we can spend almost a month in that mythical place. We leave in a week!

February 26, 2018